Plastic Surgery, Plastic Actions, Plastic Life

During the past few days, I am somewhat happier than before. I am also more nervous because my Microeconomics and Quantitative Methods exams which are just around the corner keep showing their ugly faces within my thoughts, but that isn't what this post is about. This happiness is not the one you get from winning a lottrey ticket, neither is it the kind of happiness that you get from helping people. I believe this happiness is the effect of taking one step close to enlightenment.

It is strange how this all sparked from something as trivial my decision to finally watch Pulp Fiction. It was an awesome movie. But what was coolest about it was Samuel L.Jackson's character. He was a boisterous and God-loving hitman who quotes a rather cold passage from the Bible before taking-out his victims. He was so cool that I almost decided to assimilate his behaviour into my own, but realised that I might just end up being wanna-be. So I analysed his character more closely and came to a somewhat enlightening conclusion.

I have actually thought of this before- what makes some characters in the movies so cool, and why so many people who endevour to be like these characters turn out to be failures. It struck me that these cool characters are cool, not because they put effort into making themselves look cool, but it's because that they don't give a rat's left ass-cheek about what people think of them. It is not how they dress, how they talk, or how they shoot people. Rather, it is a certain outlook on life of theirs that sets them apart from the rest. It is their liberation from the anxiety that many of us suffer from constantly thinking of how we seem in the eye's of others that makes them so appealing to audiences. It was Samuel L.Jackson's disregard of what people thought of his mini-afro, the things he says in public and the things he does that makes people like me think he is cool.

A few weeks ago, I attended a Buddhist Society meeting where three nun's, preferably called Bikkhus, from Indonesia came to talk about Buddhism concepts in general and how to apply them to daily life. At one point, she spoke about how there was (and still is) a discrimination against females walking the path of monkhood and how females cannot achieve Nirvana. This severely hindered her from following her inner calling to become a Bikkhu. She then told us in Indonesian Malay that somehow, she decided that she would not let herself fall into the trap of discrimination and went on to follow her calling. That pulled the inspirational strings of my heart, an stirred many thoughts in my mind. Although I thought that she was more holy and enlightened than many of us, I definitely didn't think she was cool. Which was why I needed Samuel L. Jackson to give me a few more nudges to realise the flaws in my character.

Those weren't the only nudges. A few days later, my housemate turned on the TV and the southern-american accent of Doctor Phil echoed throughout our flat. Coincidentally, that day's show revolved around the topic of self-image because he was counselling people who had numerous cosmetic surgeries. To no surprise, the root of these people's problems was that they were too concerned about how other people thought they look like. When people made small albeit slightly hurtful comments, they took them so seriously that they were willing to spend thousands of dollars to alter their features. In other words, they were willing to spend thousands of dollars just to wipe these comments out of their daily lives. As the Doctor said, "Plastic surgery is just a superficial solution. It will not solve the true problem that is within yourselves".

It took a Bikkhu, a hitman, and a psychologist to deliver the blow that made me say "enough!" to plastic. Too much effort has been wasted on trying to put myself in the good light of other people's eyes. I decided that unless I am going for an interview, going for an audition, or getting involved in an activity that requires someone to be pleased, I will no longer regard the world as a stage and I will no longer regard myself as a daily actor. When thoughts such as " Won't people think it's weird?" or "Is this the proper way to bahave?" or "What will people think of me" flood my mind, I will purge them with the holiest and most cleansing of phrases: "Fuck It!!!".

HOWEVER, that is not the end. Along with this newfound happiness comes a paradox of life which is what the next post will be about... so stay tuned...